Understanding and Reshaping Core Beliefs

What Are Core Beliefs?

Core beliefs are the deep-seated perceptions we hold about ourselves, others, and the world around us. These beliefs are often formed in early life; they affect the way we experience the world, and influence our thoughts, behaviors, and relationships. For instance, someone who holds a core belief of “I am unworthy” might consistently undervalue their achievements, avoid close relationships, or feel anxious about social situations.

These beliefs can be harmful, but they can also be empowering. It is often harmful core beliefs that bring people to therapy. We are here to tell you that the good news is that just as these beliefs can be learned, they can also be unlearned and reshaped into something more helpful and positive.

How Core Beliefs Are Formed

Core beliefs typically develop from early life experiences and environments, such as:

Family Dynamics: Family is usually our first source of values and beliefs. For example, a child with overly critical parents might internalize the belief that “I’m not good enough.”
Societal Norms, Cultural and Social Messages: Society’s messages through media, school, or peer groups also shape our beliefs. A person exposed to messages that equate success with worth might believe, “I am only valuable if I achieve.”
Significant Life Events: Traumas, losses, or significant changes can impact our beliefs profoundly, especially when they occur in our early life. A painful breakup might leave someone believing, “I am unlovable,” or “People always leave.”

Once formed, core beliefs guide our interpretation of new experiences. For example, if someone holds the belief, “People can’t be trusted,” they might misinterpret a friend’s busyness as rejection, reinforcing this belief further.

Identifying Unhelpful Core Beliefs

The first step to changing limiting beliefs is to identify them. Here are a few common unhelpful core beliefs people hold:

“I am not enough”: This belief can stem from comparisons, criticism, or unrealistic expectations.
“I don’t deserve love”: Often rooted in negative past relationships, this belief can prevent close connections.
“People can’t be trusted”: Typically the result of betrayal or abandonment, this belief may lead to isolation and difficulty building relationships.

Recognizing How Core Beliefs Affect Us

Core beliefs don’t just sit in our minds, they impact our emotions, decisions, and interactions daily. For instance:

Emotional Impact: Negative core beliefs can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression, and low self-worth.
Behavioral Influence: Someone who believes, “I am a failure,” might avoid trying new things, fearing failure.
Relationship Patterns: Core beliefs like “People will leave” can create patterns of pushing others away to avoid perceived abandonment.

How to Challenge and Change Core Beliefs

The good news is that once we recognize these beliefs, we can begin the work of challenging and changing them.

Question the Evidence
Ask yourself, “What is the evidence that supports this belief, and what is the evidence that contradicts the belief?” If the belief is, “I am unlovable,” look for examples of others showing you kindness and care.
Examine the Source
Consider where the belief came from and whether it’s truly valid. Many beliefs were instilled by well-meaning caregivers who had their own struggles and limitations.
Practice Self-Compassion
Treat yourself with the kindness you would offer a friend or loved one. Over time, self-compassion can help shift unhelpful beliefs and foster a more positive self-view.
Reframe the Belief
Try to replace unhelpful beliefs with more balanced ones. For example, instead of “I am unworthy,” you could try, “I am learning to see my value and accept myself as I am.”
Take Small, Consistent Actions
Reinforcing new beliefs takes time. If your new belief is “I am capable,” take small steps each day that affirm this, such as tackling small challenges that build confidence.

Building Positive Core Beliefs

Changing core beliefs is a journey, but with practice, you can replace limiting beliefs with affirming, positive ones. Here are some examples:

“I am worthy and deserving of love and respect”: Remind yourself daily that everyone, including you, deserves love.
“I am capable of growth and change”: Reinforce this belief by celebrating small wins and personal growth.
“I am enough, just as I am”: Work on self-acceptance, acknowledging that you don’t need to be perfect to be valued.

Working on Core Beliefs in Therapy

Therapy can be a safe and supportive environment to explore, challenge, and transform your core beliefs. With a therapist, you can dive deeper into your beliefs, gain tools for reframing them, and build a stronger, more positive foundation.

If you are interested in learning more about how core beliefs impact your life, therapy can offer you a space to grow, heal, and rebuild a positive self-view. Reach out to explore your own journey with core beliefs and start creating a path toward self-compassion and empowerment.

Final Thoughts

Core beliefs are powerful, but they don’t have to control you. With time, self-reflection, and support, you can recognize and transform beliefs that no longer serve you. Remember, growth is a journey that you don’t have to take alone. Trust the process and you will be able to create positive change in your life.